The In-between: When Your Life's Purpose Literally Chases You Down

Today, while on a walk with Skeeter, I caught a man out of the corner of my eye. At first I thought he was just jogging. We were on the bike path after all. Then, I realized he was running--running--towards me. Given recent attacks to somebody close to me, my whole body cringed and froze. I am usually fairly polite to most people (even if studying every detail to make sure they are okay). If I get a hinky feeling, I put Skeeter between us. So, I was prepared to call up my intruder training skills that I learned for work.

However, this man just wanted to point out my dog's long snout. He wanted to ask about my dog and Montana and the 1880s and old newspapers and data entry jobs and small towns vs. New York. I started to realize he had some mental/emotional developmental issues. He mentioned he was trying to explore the town to make friends. He just wanted to make some friends. 

I'm not sure if people know this about me, but I like to listen. I also have the family curse tattooed on my forehead: tell me all your problems. So random people find me. A lot. All the time. They find me hiking in seclusion or at the lake. They start talking at the store and in line at the post office. In interviews, potential bosses spill all the inner workings of the business and their family and their deepest secrets before I am able to discuss my strengths and weaknesses as an employee. My "counselor therapy" tendencies even became part of the new employee tour at work. Just go see Rachael. She's good at listening.

And, I love it. Oh man, I love listening. I will sit all day with a passionate soul chatting about the problems and fears and amazing moments in their lives. I like to joke that I should be getting paid to listen. Haha. Yeah. It would be nice to get paid for that time. Is there a therapy wherein I could cook and listen at the same time? We could work through issues and learn and medicate with food. When I have my own place, there will be an area in the kitchen where people spill their guts while I knead dough. My heart just fluttered.

I intended to write this blog about transition, about purgatory or limbo or the in between time of transition. Life changes. We love (and loath) the time before and the time after for different reasons. We are grateful for the tedious nature of that in between time. So grateful. It makes us strong and helps us grow. Yet, it effing sucks, especially when it happens all at once.

I am in the last week of a job I've held for almost three years. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't seem like a long time. But, it was jam packed with smiles and tears and mistakes and love and grease traps and pickle juice and poopy diapers and stress and tiny hugs. And wonderful tiny hugs. I appreciate everything the preschool taught me. I hope I left a good mark on the children and everyone else.

It is time for me to move forward with my mission in life. While I don't have a clear picture of this mission, I know I am ready for the next step. I will be heading to Amazing Crepes to be a Kitchen Manager. It fills my heart with joy and excitement. And so much trepidation. I know it will be a challenge. We should meet the best challenges with open arms and maybe a large stick. I would also love a good live music show to help with the nerves, but I hear my favorite band my be on hiatus for a while (yeah, I’m a little lost).

The stress and roller coaster of switching jobs has been heavy in my world. Of course, I couldn't be satisfied with just one transition. I needed to add more. Where is the fun in playing it safe? Besides saying goodbye to my soul sister (she moved across country), I have had to say a few farewells to other major characters in my life. One in particular...what can I say? My life will never be the same.

Communication is huge for me. Yes, I like to listen. I also love a good conversation wherein every party feels safe to express, debate and learn. These conversations are rare in my life. Most people are just too afraid to be themselves. So when I do get those moments of pure openness, I relish in them. I will be forever grateful for the kitchen talks about life, death, food, sewage, dogs, observation, movies, and everything in between (I promise, this doesn't cover half of it).

Anybody else who fills the empty room in our house will be completely different. It's not bad or good, just not the same. While I try to split my time between transition and other scary parts of my current situation, people are still coming to me. People are still finding me to talk--to listen. Random strangers are running me down on bike paths because I look trustworthy and safe and non-judgmental.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I want to know myself. I want to take care of myself because I know I am meant to be....something. I may not know exactly what that great mission entails, but I understand it has something to do with listening. Recently, I discovered or remembered that I am a guide. I feel most in tune with showing others the tools and skills they can use to grow.

I like to facilitate healthy conversation between a person's brain and their soul to help them discover their inner power.

So, while I feel like throwing up because things are chaotic in my own life, I still can't shirk my "responsibilities". I collect souls. They may physically come in and out of my life, much to my chagrin, but they will always be a part of the larger story. I will always listen and help guide the world to love. Okay, yes, sometimes I will guide the world towards potential death and destruction for a good laugh. We will always find the proper path in time.

I hope everyone is so lucky to find their mission in life, or at least see signs that point in the right direction.

Thank you for listening. If you made it through this babbling blog, I also wanted to mention Mother's Day. I want to make up a few up-cycled bottle wind chimes (or other decor) for some mothers in my life. I would love to have a few pictures of customized gifts. Any takers? Check out the items for more details. Or contact me with questions. For the month of May, I am offering free shipping and maybe some other gems along the way (Code: MomsRule at checkout). Like, every order before Mother's Day is entered to win a free gift.

My mom is the greatest. All our moms are freaking awesome. She's helped me through more transition and crap than anyone. I know yours has done the same in her own way. So, even if you don't order from me, make sure you thank your mother/mother figures this month. They are flawed humans who still have the hearts of goddesses. I think that's worth celebrating.