Changing the Story

All of my hats have stories. To be honest, most inanimate objects in my life have character if not an entire epic novel to their name. Yes, I talk to vegetable in the walk-in cooler. I see everything around as an important part of my story. Why can't they have their own adventures? Why am I so bold as to think the stories revolve around my character? All of my hats have stories.

Yet, sometimes I see the story they don't wish to be told or isn't even their truth. It's called forcing a story. For the last month, I have been racking my brain on a story for a customer. A month. The hat has been finished for weeks, but the story kept giving me trouble. Some days, it took everything I had to get a sentence on the page. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was not the truth of the hat. Still, I needed to finish this order so I could get the hat and story shipped. It's not like me to force plot on characters. If anything, I am too nonchalant with my plots. I poured fake situation on my underdeveloped characters like tar.

Lately, I have been pondering my next step in life. I enjoy my current situation. I have a grown-up job. I am proud of the work I do for the children. I live in a great, quirky, old house in a beautiful town. My roommates are just the best. If I haven't gushed about my dog, you haven't been listening. But, I know there is a part of my story still to be discovered. At what point am I just forcing my story? Have you ever felt like you could smile all day and still feel...stuck?

Tonight, I finally finished the story. It wasn't the story I started with a month ago. I scrapped everything and began again. The real story spilled onto the page like it had been held back with a dam. Is it the greatest story ever told (just a tribute...)? No. Is it better than the crap I was wading through before? Yes! I stopped forcing the plot. Little by little, I am seeing the connection to my life. I am ready to find the parts of my life that are true.

I appreciate all the moments and missteps. It is so cliche to say that I wouldn't be the person I am today without that back story. Cliches are cliche for a reason. I honor my past. But, I am finished pretending my way through this ugly plot. I am expecting to hear a lot of "that doesn't sound like you." Granted, I don't want to change everything completely. I just want to find my authentic voice, my true story. I feel a new adventure in the works. I want to answer the call instead of sticking with a forced story.

So, I apologize for the delay of your order. I hope somebody will stop me next time and make sure what I am writing is real. I hope when I am fake or false in life, somebody will slap me and return me to my natural character. 

Thank you all for being your true selves.

RAB